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Life stories > Bad Habits and Suicide

Bad Habits and Suicide (Hindi)

My name is O___. I live in India in _______ a small village. My grandfather and my grandmother and father's mother, they were all worshippers of lord Siva and lord Rama and lord Krishna from their childhood. From my childhood my father mother and my parents taught me that I had to regularly attend temple and worship and I have to attend the village activities regularly in my life. As I grew up I started to take part in all theses things regularly. I went on many pilgrimages and also I was reading many Hindu scriptures. But in my life what I have experienced, as I started to live in village life--many bad habits started in my personal life. Because of these bad habits and bad things, my life was really sorrowful and there was no peace in my life. I had no joy in my life. From my childhood I was taught that we had to do good works and if we are do good works we will get moksha and in another birth we will get a good condition. In my life I wanted to do good works—but I did not do them, but the bad works which I did not really want to do- that automatically I was doing. Well in my life there was no peace. In my family there was no peace. Because of bad habits I had serious headaches and I had pain in my whole body because of pornography and all the bad habits. I was really living a miserable life. Many times I thought, ‘I will finish my life, I will make suicide and I will get out from all the sorrows and all the pains and all the worries of my life.’ One day in December 1985 I was passing by a _______ and at that time I was constant thinking how I can commit suicide. I was planning to make suicide but I saw one person on my way and he was talking about the Lord Jesus Christ. So I stopped there and I talked to him and asked him regarding Jesus Christ. That man told me about God's love. He said to me, “God loves each and every person through His son Jesus Christ” and in this way He explained to me about Jesus. That man told me ‘God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son that whoever trusts on him will get everlasting life.’ At that moment I did not trust his talk. I thought ‘They are converting people by the help of foreigners and our religion is good and I have to remain in that religion.’ That man gave me new testament and also invited me to take part in the worship service. Then I came back to my home and I opened that new testament to Matthew Ch 1. As I was reading the Lord spoke to me in what I read. When I read the word of God I knew that I’m a sinner and Lord Jesus Christ came on earth to save all sinners. I had read that Lord Jesus Christ has given his life for the redemption for my sin. He died on the cross for me. He is the only person who can give me salvation and I feel that only Jesus Christ can forgive my sins and I’m in need of such a savior Lord Jesus Christ. By the word of God I knew that the blood of Jesus Christ can cleanse me from all my sin. I knew that Lord Jesus Christ is died for me, he was buried for me and on the third day he resurrected for me. There it is written that if you will accept Lord Jesus Christ as your personal savior He will save you and He will give you new life. It was 31st march 1986 night I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior. At that time I was accepting all my sins in front of my Lord and I was praying Him, “Lord Jesus come into my heart come into my life I want to accept you as my personal savior I want to surrender my life into your hands.” I felt the presence of my God at that time and what happened I suddenly feel that the big burden of my sin which was lying on me suddenly rolled away and I feel quite easy and quite normal in my life--my heart was full of peace and joy. Then all my bad habits from my life departed from me and from that very day my total life is changed and I became a new person. 

When my family members saw this change in me and when they have noticed that I’m positive towards Christianity, they started persecution in my life. They immediately arranged my marriage with a Hindu girl. But then my wife, she also accept the Lord Jesus as her personal savior and she became real Christian. God's worked powerfully in her life. When my wife accepted the Lord Jesus as her personal savior, my father pushed me and my wife from our house. But I learned from the word of God that I have to obey my Lord and trust all the promises and his blessing in my life. Now we, I and my wife, we were staying separately, but we were praying for our parents, for our brothers and sisters. And God worked in their life and one after another they all accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal savior. Then Lord blessed us with 2 children and the Lord blessed our personal life our family life very much. I personally know that Jesus Christ is really good and I also knew that not by good things but only by the grace of my Lord savior I get redemption I get salvation. Not by good deeds but the blood of Christ cleanse me and he make me new person and I receive new life in my Lord Jesus. God’s word says one who is in Christ is new being new creation, all things are gone away, everything begins new.


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